It’s again that time of year when the morning seems to be dark when just last week it wasn’t. The time of year when, as the sun sets, a mysterious shiver, not felt since that last cold spring day, may overtake the body and leave you wondering what’s going on.
I always seem to be caught by surprise by the first chilly day of autumn. One day I’m lying on my bed sweating bullets with the fan, on at number 4, pointed directly at my outstretched body and the next I’m contemplating whether the cold shower is worth the brief feeling of cleanliness before I pull my shivering self under a layer of blankets topped by my winter rated sleeping bag. It always seems to leave me a bit disoriented. But once I’ve checked my calendar and confirmed that, yup, this is supposed to happen in September, I settle into an appreciative mindset that allows me to soak up what I know are dwindling warm rays of the sun.
I love autumn. Everything about it cries, “take me all in and enjoy me because I am a I’m all you have left of summer. Before you know it, my brother winter will drive you inside! I don’t guarantee a smooth transition, but be happy with a transition period!” I don’t know if there is anything better than the glorious fall days when the sun shines a warmth that can only be felt when outside working under it. The earthy smell of the fallen leaves, already starting to rot. They sound they make when you step on them. Crunch! The last days, when, unsure if this will be it, you try to take it all in and appreciate everything about the summer that has passed by so quickly. I even like the cold rain and mud, though in much less quantity than the sun.
I don’t know how autumn or winter play out in Tafoghalt. I’ve inquired a number of my friends about it, but I seem to get only conflicting answers. Everyone tends to agree that the winter is cold. Where they disagree is on severity. It seems to go from “oh its not too bad” to “death would be better.” I like cold, but I’ve never had to endure it for more than a few nights without a warm place to go. I’ve heard less about autumn except that the start of school falls within its seasonal boundaries and that before we know it winter will be on us.
Every year around this time I start waking up suddenly, while the sun has not yet risen, with stirrings that leave my heart beating fast and eyes dilated. Call it an unforgotten instinct or a learned habit that has lost its use, whenever it bangs on my minds door, I suddenly rise expecting to find my mama in the doorway telling me “its time.” Shit! I didn’t realize it was time to start school again already! What classes am I taking this year anyway? How long can I legitimately stay in the warm shower? Should I bother wearing something nice?
Being in rural Morocco seemed to make little difference to my subconscious mind. This year, as always, it caught me by surprise and left me in a panic. When the haze of Monday night’s sleep dissolved and I realized that it wasn’t my mama who had awoken me, but the groggy sounding man who does the morning call to prayer, I was left feeling relieved but also a little empty. I guess I miss the era in my life of first days of school, and my mama’s voice abruptly stomping out my pleasant dreams.
We are still living the Ramadan life in Morocco. I have come to a point of appreciation for it that I had not realized before. Not only has my body caught up to the change in sleep cycles, but also my mind has been able to grasp something of the contemplation that Muslims are able to seek and practice during their free time and under the strain of fasting. Even I have come to a point where I don’t think about food or what I should do next, but I think about, whatever it is that I do do, I should do it fully and without distraction. If for no other reason than that I have the time.
I’m of course among many who have come to this conclusion as a result of the lifestyle change. Point in case. On Monday night (remember this is the same day that I woke up to phantom first day of school angst), I came home to an apartment blazing with light. I knew that I hadn’t left them on when I left so I entered with caution. I wasn’t very concerned because, as I think I’ve mentioned before, I have a man (hence forth mentioned as homeboy) and his child living “temporarily” in my bedroom on the roof. It’s not of huge concern as the bedroom is separate from the rest of the apartment. The only issue is that its window looks down directly into my makeshift kitchen and living room. So not only can he watch me from up there like the guy from that one game show, but we can here each other as if we were in the same corner of a parking garage. Anyway, that’s all beside the point.
I walk in, and seeing the door to the garage (where homeboy is supposed to be staying) open I figured I would go in and say hi. You know, friendly neighbor stuff. What I find when I walk in is a young dude awkwardly standing there in his towel. Blushing, I said hello and left. I noticed someone else there as well, but didn’t see who it was and figured it was another dude. It’s not that unusual for homeboy (that’s what I call my roommate) to bring his friends over.
Anyway, later I went up to my roof to do some reading as I do most nights. I see the dude and awkwardly say hi again. He seems to be going to bed. Turns off the lights and everything. Almost instantly I start hearing the unmistakable sounds that we all know. It starts out quiet and before I know it, it’s echoing around my house and over the edge of my roof into the world below. I only hear the dude though. This is when I thought, “Dear lord! It’s either two dudes or one really loud dude and a girl that I don’t know having sex in my house!” Homosexuality is totally forbidden here, but as men and women don’t interact a lot, there is apparently quite a bit of “not homosexual” experimenting that goes on between dude friends. I thought that’s what was happening. Turns out it was a woman. They proceeded to make noise the whole night. And stuck around for another day and night. Right, I should have gone up there and told them to keep it down, but I’ve gotten so used to sleeping through an array of odd noises that it didn’t bother me too much. Just another animal sound to add to the symphony of dogs howling, roosters crowing, donkeys whinnying (do donkeys whinny?), cats screaming, and mosques blasting. I did tell my landlord the next day that there were two strangers staying in my apartment without mentioning any details of their activities. He replied unsurprised, “yeah, they are my friends.” My landlord is lending “his” pad to his buddies so they can bring girls over. Sweet! The point of the story, I guess, is that that couple was clearly doing what they were doing fully and without distraction.
Ramadan is almost over, but for those of you who are interested in learning more about this most important time of year in the Muslim calendar I will include some links to the Speaking of Faith website where you can download a number of podcasts on the topic. They don’t go into the details of why or how Ramadan works, but instead delve into ways in which different people experience it. I think they are a pretty great way of getting a glimpse into an experience that many of us will never have a chance to be a part of.
Ok, not exactly the direct link, but if you work at it you will get there.
http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/podcast/podcasthelp.shtml
bsalama
No comments:
Post a Comment